For many families, milestone occasions and holidays celebrated with a loved one experiencing memory loss look very different from gatherings of years past. Birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving and other special days can be bittersweet, surprising and unexpectedly beautiful, sometimes all within the same hour.
As with so many things, dementia changes the shape of our celebrations. It asks something harder of us than remembering; it asks us to be fully present without expectation. Megan Deaton, LPN, Community First Solutions Memory Care Manager and TouchPoint Sensory™ Creator, often reminds families, “It’s not about a date on the calendar or what your loved ones will remember; it’s about how it feels to be with them in the moment. Dementia can’t take away the now.”
TouchPoint Sensory™ is Community First Solutions’ nationally recognized, sensory-based engagement approach to memory care designed to spark comfort and joy through the belief that meaningful connection is still possible. With the right mindset and a little preparation, families can create moments on any special day that matter deeply — even if they are never consciously recalled.
Reframing What “Meaningful” Means
Our culture tends to measure experiences by whether we remember them. Holidays in particular are steeped in this kind of continuity. Traditions are repeated year after year with stories told and retold. Memory loss asks us to let go of all of that and discover something more essential underneath.
Researchers in dementia care have long observed what is sometimes called emotional memory, the capacity to feel and register an experience even when the explicit recall is lost. A person with advanced Alzheimer’s may not remember that their family visited, but the warmth of that visit — the comfort, the laughter and sense of being cherished — can linger in their mood for hours or even days.
Many families describe a turning point: a moment when they stopped trying to recreate the celebrations of the past and instead approached each occasion on its own terms and intention. Often, that shift begins with following their loved one’s lead.
Practical Tips for “Special-Day” Visits
Before You Arrive
- Coordinate with staff. Ask about the best time of day for your loved one and inquire about any recent changes in mood or routine. The care team is your greatest resource.
- Bring the familiar. A favorite food, beloved playlist or photo album can be more valuable than any gift. Think about what has always brought them comfort or delight.
- Set intentions and release expectations. A successful visit is one where they feel loved. That’s the only benchmark that matters.
During the Visit
- Keep the group small. Large gatherings can be overwhelming. A visit with one or two people is often more meaningful than a crowd.
- Follow their lead. If they want to sit quietly, sit quietly. If they want to talk, even if the conversation circles, listen as if it’s the first time.
- Use sensory anchors. Music, photographs, familiar foods and gentle touch can open doors that words alone cannot. Our TouchPoint Sensory™ approach is built on the understanding that while memories may fade, the capacity for joy, love and connection remains ever-present through our senses.
- Stay in the present moment. Resist the urge to correct them if they confuse names, times or people. Enter their reality gently. What matters is how they feel, not what they remember.
Activity Ideas for Any Occasion
- Look through a photo album or memory book together, narrating stories they once told you.
- Share a favorite food or treat; taste and smell are powerful triggers for comfort.
- Arrange flowers or do a simple seasonal craft together.
- Spend time outdoors in a garden or courtyard when the weather permits.
- Sit together and listen to music from their era; sing along if they join in.
On any special day, you don’t need to give your loved one a memory they will carry forward. You need to give them a moment they will feel. Bring the flowers. Bring the music. Bring yourself. That is more than enough. “Mother’s Day and other special occasions are all about love, and love doesn’t just live in our memories,” shares Megan Deaton, LPN, Community First Solutions Memory Care Manager and TouchPoint Sensory™ Creator.
Through our TouchPoint Sensory™ approach, our memory care team helps to create meaningful experiences every day for those navigating life with memory loss, and we’re here to support you and your loved ones in this journey.
Contact our knowledgeable senior living team to schedule a personal conversation or to tour one of our Memory Care Communities:
- Berkeley Square in Hamilton, Ohio
- Montage Mason & The Cottage of Mason in Mason, Ohio
- The Patterson in Beavercreek, Ohio
